


Banned

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [70]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Fluff and Humor, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Tony Being Tony, meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11203860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: Meetings would be the death of him.ORThe one where the Avengers don't do meetings well





	Banned

Many times Agent Phil Coulson had considered using the Avengers meetings with Human Resources as a form of advanced interrogation. He wasn't sure how they did it - probably secret training sessions late at night - but they had gone through more HR officers in the last three months than any other department in the last four years.

"Sir, it appears that you are surrounded."

"Excellent! So we can attack in any direction!"

Three Avengers laughed outright, two groaned, one smirked, and Coulson looked like he wanted to find a blender and put his head in it so he would be excused from dealing with this particular meeting.

"And what part of that conversation is appropriate during an active battle?" asked the HR officer who was probably new, based on the fact that she kept a straight face while asking that question.

"In all fairness, it was a valid plan of attack," said Tony lazily. 

"And he did let the team know what was going on," said Clint, jumping to the billionaires aid.

"And that's better than most times," said Bucky.

"Yeah, what other sound clips do you have?" asked Tony. "How is that one the biggest issue we have to deal with? I mean, where's Steve's naughty word? We have that on file, right? If not, I have it on my phone, I'll just pull it up for you."

"Mr. Stark, you are not taking this seriously. You could have killed civilians!"

"Thank you for the approval but I don't have a license to kill," said Tony. "However, I do have a learners permit."

"I have a license," said Natasha. "I'll supervise you. Let's start with our new friend. Now in my licensed opinion, you should go for the neck."

"Agent Romanov," growled Agent Coulson. "We do not threaten the HR department."

"She wasn't threatening, she was advising a co-worker on methods to kill," said Bucky.

Coulson's left eye twitched - Tony thought it was from trying not to laugh - and their new HR sacrificial lamb marched out of the room in tears, screaming about how she can't work with idiots.

"There are some sound bytes of me saying that exact same thing after most board meetings," said Tony when the silence stretched on too long. "We can put them on the list of things to listen to next time."

Coulson decided to attend all future meetings of the Avenger and HR on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on my phone for a friend who had a bad day.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


End file.
